I never went to any of my high school reunions. In 1979, I packed my bags, moved out of Long Beach and vowed that I'd never go back. Very rarely do I visit California. My home state no longer feels like home.
Recently, I was invited to my high school reunion's facebook page. When I dropped in to see the old gang, I was saddened to learn that my friend, Alice, had passed away.
I was more surprised when someone told me that Alice had commit suicide about 25 years ago. Throughout the years, I always imagined her growing old gracefully. It never occurred to me that she might be dead.
Alice was a beautiful, young woman who looked remarkably like the 1930's screen siren, Jean Harlow. She was feminine and sexy. Alice loved motorcycles, fast cars and beer. She liked to go to night clubs. She preferred disco music to rock-n-roll because she liked to dance. Donna Summers was her favorite artist.
Alice was not her real name, but I choose to call her that for two reasons: (1) to protect her family's privacy; and (2) because she reminds me of the song, "All the Young Girls Love Alice," from Elton John's album, "Good-bye Yellow Brick Road." You may have guessed from the song title that Alice was a gay teen. Technically, she was bisexual. When I knew her, she identified herself as a lesbian.
I was a naive teenager when I met Alice. I didn't have a clear understanding of what being "gay" meant. I thought anti-gay words such as "faggot," "queer", "lesbo," etc. were merely dirty words that people called each other when they were angry. I didn't believe that homosexuals actually existed. Even after I met Alice's girl friends, I thought she would eventually become straight if she met the right man.
You may be wondering if Alice and I were lovers. No, we were not. We were platonic friends. Alice was attracted to masculine bull dykes. I am not and have never been a bull dyke.
Our society was much more homophobic in the 1970's and 1980's than it is today. In the late 1970's, Anita Bryant and the Southern Baptist Convention were on an anti-gay crusade to protect children from homosexuality. My mother was one of the many people who believed that homosexuality was caused by gay men molesting boys. She did not want gays in our house. After another friend told her that Alice was a lesbian, Mom forbid me to have anything more to do with her.(But Alice and I had a tendency to get into trouble when we were together.)
Many of the young people I knew were against Anita Bryant's crusade. We believed that Anita and the Southern Baptists were preaching hate. We refused to buy or drink orange juice because Anita was the spokesperson for Florida orange juice. We considered it a victory when Florida orange juice dropped their contract with Anita.
However, I was acquainted with several boys who liked to go to the local gay bar so they could rob and beat up gay men in the bar's restroom. I wasn't surprised when I heard that someone had burned down the local drag queen's home.
Did Alice's death have anything to do with her sexual orientation? I don't know if she was in a relationship with a man or a woman when she died. She may have been single. Knowing the hatred and violence that gays and lesbians faced, I think it is safe to assume that Alice's sexual preference may have influenced her decision to end her life.
There are other factors to consider. Alice did not do drugs, but she had a tendency to be self-destructive. One night, we were driving home from a party when we got into a minor argument. In anger, she slammed on the car's brakes. We almost got run over by an 18 wheeler. If the truck hadn't swerved to avoid colliding with us, everyone in the car would have killed.
On another occasion, she took me to her boyfriend's apartment. I no longer remember why she got upset, but she balled up her fist and slammed it through a glass shower door. The shower door was open, and she bragged that she put her fist through two panes of glass. She bled so much that her boyfriend and I had to take her to the emergency room.
Alice often told me that she did not believe in heaven or hell. She believed that life on earth was hell. She sometimes said, "If you don't believe God makes mistakes, look at me." Perhaps she was a tortured soul who thought that committing suicide would end her pain.
Learning about Alice's death reminded me of how important it is to accept and love people for who they are. Michael 7: 1-3 states "Judge not lest ye be judged." I believe that what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom is between God and them. It isn't anyone else's business. Homosexuality may be a sin, but if I mistreat a person because he or she is gay, the sin becomes mine.
Perhaps if people had been kinder to and more tolerant of those were different from them, Alice might be alive today.
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